Adventure...

I am not one to turn down an adventure. I did move to Montana on a whim, I just didn't expect this adventure to last this long. I'm surviving my third Montana winter and it's only getting harder. I find myself reminding myself to look at the positive, to smile, to suck it up more than ever. I'm done sucking it up, I want to live where there are tall buildings, golden sunsets, and take out. I miss Pizza Hut delivery, Panda take out, Fry's popcorn, QT slurpees. I miss warm evening walks to the park, I miss flip flop races. I miss sitting in my driveway with neighbors, I miss street ball. I miss watching my boys play ball, I miss sitting in the stands, wearing shorts. I miss riding in elevators, I miss escalators, I miss the option to take the stairs. I miss sunshine, dust storms, monsoon season. Most of all, I miss my family. I miss seeing them several times a year. I haven't seen my mom in over a year and that is not okay. I miss the beach, our summer visits. I miss warm holidays. I miss hikes in the desert. I miss holidays spent with family. I want to be able to visit my brother's grave! I never did it often enough, now that I can't, I realize that.
I want out, out of this town, out of this state. Away from the cold, the snow, the grey skies.


I am not made for small town, snow makes me cranky, cold depresses me. This is not where I belong, I need out before I completely lose it. I need sunshine, not inversions, I need three digit temperatures, not negative. I hate long sleeves, slippers and coats. I am not made to live here, being forced to is slowly killing my spirit.

I am done trying, 3 years of trying, 3 years of redirecting my thoughts, 3 years of being sad and cranky, 3 years of wishing I could live elsewhere, 3 years of regretting this choice...
Isn't THREE years enough?