As I sit here shoving my face with leftover bacon jalepeno deviled eggs I have so much to be thankful for. Our kids were all healthy for this holiday, we had plenty of food to eat, we spent the day with friends that feel more like family. I ran in in my first ever turkey trot, and I survived. I am even thankful for the snow on the ground, it allowed us to have some sledding fun without driving anywhere. And tiring out the dogs and kids is always a bonus.
I look around and I know I have so much to be thankful for, so why am I not content? Why does my soul feel like it needs to run? It's like I'm always antsy, worried about tomorrow, next week, next month. My kids are all doing well, we are all healthy, we have great friends. So why do I imagine us up and moving away from here so much? My soul is not at peace, maybe I'm more like my mom than I imagine. She never seemed content, always looking for the next thing, always talking about moving. It's not that I want to move my kids again but 2 of the boys keep saying we should move back to Phoenix. That makes me think we really should, like their hearts are still there, as is mine. I need a shirt that says "I left my heart in Phoenix". Do they even make such a shirt?
You can't deny the beauty that surrounds you here. I can't say I don't have great friends that feel like family. I can say I don't feel content here. One day I am positive this is where we need to be, the next day I'm crying and frustrated........
One minute at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time....This is how I'm living my life and I don't want to anymore. I want to live in the moment again. I want to photograph our every day. I want to want to document my kids growing and changing like I used to.
I look around and I know I have so much to be thankful for, so why am I not content? Why does my soul feel like it needs to run? It's like I'm always antsy, worried about tomorrow, next week, next month. My kids are all doing well, we are all healthy, we have great friends. So why do I imagine us up and moving away from here so much? My soul is not at peace, maybe I'm more like my mom than I imagine. She never seemed content, always looking for the next thing, always talking about moving. It's not that I want to move my kids again but 2 of the boys keep saying we should move back to Phoenix. That makes me think we really should, like their hearts are still there, as is mine. I need a shirt that says "I left my heart in Phoenix". Do they even make such a shirt?
You can't deny the beauty that surrounds you here. I can't say I don't have great friends that feel like family. I can say I don't feel content here. One day I am positive this is where we need to be, the next day I'm crying and frustrated........
One minute at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time....This is how I'm living my life and I don't want to anymore. I want to live in the moment again. I want to photograph our every day. I want to want to document my kids growing and changing like I used to.
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