This Dog.....That House

I really don't like having pets, never have. I won't lie, I can't lie, no matter how bad of a person it makes me out to be. If this dog found another home tomorrow I would celebrate, inside my head. He has ruined blinds, expensive cloth blinds. He's ruined the molding around our bedroom door. He's broken our white picket fence in 5 different spots, he even broke my happy light. He barks for stupid reasons, he's a bully to the cat. He steals food off the counter and out of the trash. His hair is everywhere and he knows how to open the sliding glass door and the front door. He is seriously a pain in my ass. He barks at everything that walks pass our yard, including the wind. The UPS man doesn't even bother, he drops the packages at Mr. Fun's store. The mailman honks and whistles to get my attention so the dog doesn't eat him. The Fedex man keeps dog treats in his pocket but still won't open our gate. Yes, he's the biggest of asshole dogs, ever.
His asshole tendencies are not his fault. He is lucky I don't kill himtolerate him. What this dog needs is a pasture, a place with lots of acres, where he can run and chase and herd. My husband and kids think differently, because they actually like the dog. I admit he can be sweet, he is super smart BUT I would be happier if he wasn't our dog. I got bullied, cornered, guilted into getting a dog. The truth be told, I regret it, regret it every damn day.
I threaten to let him out of the yard, drive him to the woods and leave....he's chipped, he'd find his way back to us. So I tolerate him, I deal with him. I hate every second of it but I'm one and they are many. I am out numbered and their happiness outweighs my happiness.
So now my mission is to work as much as I can, save as much as I can so we can buy a house where the dog won't piss me off so much. A yard that has a fenced backyard, no kids for him to bark at four times a day walking to and from school, kids walk home for lunch. A house with a mud room I can lock him in when we leave so he doesn't destroy blinds. A house without carpert so his hair isn't hidden and then transferred to clean clothes. A house with a garden that is fenced off so he can't pee on it or dig it up..... Oh what, I found the exact house I want.... I WANT THIS HOUSE! I'd feel much better about this asshole dog if I had this house. There's a mud room, it's on a dead end street, there's a loft, I miss our loft. There is a lot of space for a garden, there is a two car garage, we could get a basketball hoop again. It's still close to the firehall, to town and Mr. Fun's work. It's not walking distance from school but with as much as I plan to work that wouldn't be a problem. Also, can you say bus, oh and G will be driving sooner than I like to think about. I miss windows in the kitchen, I miss being involved in what's happening in the family room while cooking dinner, I miss having that half bath that only company uses, I miss stairs, I miss living in a culd-e-sac ....this house has it all.


I'm cataloging this under pipe dreams.....