I read THIS ARTICLE and it made me deeply sad yet extremely thankful.
Thankful for the village I do have. We don't sit out in the yard doing laundry together but we do sit out on the deck sipping coffee/cocktails. Our kids do not run off into the woods but they do run down to the pool and the park together. In my village, I can call on someone to take my kids when I'm sick, rely on friends to help with the heavy lifting. In my village I watch children that aren't mine for no other reason than their mom needed me to. My doorbell rarely rings because in this village the children knock quietly and turn the knob just in time to hear "come in". I've been extremely blessed to go from one village full of great people to another village with great people but a little more freedom for the kids. My kids run off with friends, hollering they are going with someone somewhere. Sometimes they forget to holler and I'm not okay with that but after a couple texts I can locate them. It's the small town freedom that has them forgetting I still need to know where they are, but it's also because of the small town I don't freak out.
When we lived Phoenix they weren't allowed to leave the two blocks we lived on. Most of that was their age, if we still lived there I would let them venture further together, the park, the mall just through the desert but I would worry a little. I couldn't just text random friends to see if they saw them on Main Street or if they made their way to the pool. That village was a little larger but still a village.
So reading this article made me wonder, what happened to the village? I feel like it's been replaced with online villages. I remember when I was pregnant with G, in 1999 I found my first parenting forum. I did become close to some really great moms but they lived all over the world. I still talk to a few of them, not as many as I would like but a few. In 2001 when I was pregnant with Dub I found another mommy forum, this time all the moms were due in the same month, June 2002. These women got me through some really difficult times, can you say bed rest!!! We were real friends, we didn't sugar coat, we didn't lie to protect. I now live 2 blocks from one of those women and still talk to a lot of them. We drifted apart as our babies got older, we needed less support and the questions about breastfeeding, diaper rash, tantrums, sleepless nights, carseats, strollers became nonexistent. Our lives became busy with sports, dance, homework, PTA and so on, slowly people stopped posting. Maybe some were building their own villages, maybe some were just too busy. I hope they found their village, chatting on a message board can give you great support but there's nothing like sitting on friend's couch sipping coffee while your kids run and play together.
Facebook and Instagram are popular communities among moms now, I think it's good to find support where you can but getting out of the house or having a friend over is vital to life. Also our children, the children need to interact with other children. Both mom and child need the socialization of friends, neighbors, family.
This is where I get deeply sad, sad for the moms that don't have a village. Even a little village is better than no village. The author of the article says "You'd know me and I'd know you. I'd know your children, and you'd know mine. Not just on a surface level -- favorite foods, games and such -- but real, true knowledge of the soul that flickers behind their eyes. I'd trust them in your arms just as much as I'd trust them in mine. They'd respect you and heed your "no."
And as our children grew up and out and our skin went paper thin, we'd keep making bread, sharing it with tea, stories of beautiful grandchildren, and how things used to be".
I hope this for everyone, doesn't everyone deserve that best friend that lives around the corner, the friend you'd trust your child's life with. Don't we all deserve to grow old with friends that makes us laugh, knows when to hug us and when to just be silent. We all deserve a village, what happened to those villages? The world got bigger, families move away for jobs, both parents work, kids don't ride their bikes to practice with friends, parents have their faces in their smart phones instead of talking with other parents. It's a different world we live in but why can't everyone have villages? Even if it's an online village, we all deserve a village.
Do you have a village?
Thankful for the village I do have. We don't sit out in the yard doing laundry together but we do sit out on the deck sipping coffee/cocktails. Our kids do not run off into the woods but they do run down to the pool and the park together. In my village, I can call on someone to take my kids when I'm sick, rely on friends to help with the heavy lifting. In my village I watch children that aren't mine for no other reason than their mom needed me to. My doorbell rarely rings because in this village the children knock quietly and turn the knob just in time to hear "come in". I've been extremely blessed to go from one village full of great people to another village with great people but a little more freedom for the kids. My kids run off with friends, hollering they are going with someone somewhere. Sometimes they forget to holler and I'm not okay with that but after a couple texts I can locate them. It's the small town freedom that has them forgetting I still need to know where they are, but it's also because of the small town I don't freak out.
When we lived Phoenix they weren't allowed to leave the two blocks we lived on. Most of that was their age, if we still lived there I would let them venture further together, the park, the mall just through the desert but I would worry a little. I couldn't just text random friends to see if they saw them on Main Street or if they made their way to the pool. That village was a little larger but still a village.
So reading this article made me wonder, what happened to the village? I feel like it's been replaced with online villages. I remember when I was pregnant with G, in 1999 I found my first parenting forum. I did become close to some really great moms but they lived all over the world. I still talk to a few of them, not as many as I would like but a few. In 2001 when I was pregnant with Dub I found another mommy forum, this time all the moms were due in the same month, June 2002. These women got me through some really difficult times, can you say bed rest!!! We were real friends, we didn't sugar coat, we didn't lie to protect. I now live 2 blocks from one of those women and still talk to a lot of them. We drifted apart as our babies got older, we needed less support and the questions about breastfeeding, diaper rash, tantrums, sleepless nights, carseats, strollers became nonexistent. Our lives became busy with sports, dance, homework, PTA and so on, slowly people stopped posting. Maybe some were building their own villages, maybe some were just too busy. I hope they found their village, chatting on a message board can give you great support but there's nothing like sitting on friend's couch sipping coffee while your kids run and play together.
Facebook and Instagram are popular communities among moms now, I think it's good to find support where you can but getting out of the house or having a friend over is vital to life. Also our children, the children need to interact with other children. Both mom and child need the socialization of friends, neighbors, family.
This is where I get deeply sad, sad for the moms that don't have a village. Even a little village is better than no village. The author of the article says "You'd know me and I'd know you. I'd know your children, and you'd know mine. Not just on a surface level -- favorite foods, games and such -- but real, true knowledge of the soul that flickers behind their eyes. I'd trust them in your arms just as much as I'd trust them in mine. They'd respect you and heed your "no."
And as our children grew up and out and our skin went paper thin, we'd keep making bread, sharing it with tea, stories of beautiful grandchildren, and how things used to be".
I hope this for everyone, doesn't everyone deserve that best friend that lives around the corner, the friend you'd trust your child's life with. Don't we all deserve to grow old with friends that makes us laugh, knows when to hug us and when to just be silent. We all deserve a village, what happened to those villages? The world got bigger, families move away for jobs, both parents work, kids don't ride their bikes to practice with friends, parents have their faces in their smart phones instead of talking with other parents. It's a different world we live in but why can't everyone have villages? Even if it's an online village, we all deserve a village.
Do you have a village?
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