I will admit, I don't care for friends coming over. I'd rather say no and shut my own kids up with a cookie and hot chocolate. Here, it's different. I actually enjoy the friends my children have chosen as friends. It might have to do with the fact that I like their friends' parents, they happen to be fire fighters...so it might be different because of that. My point is, it's different here. Everything is different here.
Before I get too far off track... When I received a texts asking if one of T's friends could come over and play, I got excited. I was happy to have him over to play. I knew T would bounce off the walls when I announced the news.
It makes me think back, I am a horrible mother. What mom doesn't enjoy friends over? Play dates? Well, this mom doesn't. Especially with moms I don't know other than drop off and pick up. The awkwardness of making small talk, making sure not to bring up a heated topic or offend her. The pressure is so great. Sure you could offer her an adult beverage to relax but what if she doesn't drink before 5pm or not at all. Then you look like a lush and it gets awkward again. So I am that mom that dreaded play dates. Luckily I now live where my kid's friends are my friend's kids. So we have them over, sometimes it's play dates...sometimes there is booze involved, most the time just coffee. There is no awkwardness.
Then there is having a friend over that is bossy or doesn't like anything or cries....then what? I remember my daughter's first friend that came over, it wasn't fun for me. Not sure it was fun for her either. She was a bratty child, no please or thank you from this one. Granted she was 4 but she cried because I wouldn't let them have cookies, instead I offered grapes and cheese. She didn't want to play with any of the girl's toys, just wanted to watch cartoons. It was miserable and when her mom finally came to pick her up I was slapped in the face with that awkward silence. Luckily her daughter broke the ice with wailing that she didn't want to go home.... That was the last friend we had over until 6th grade. You think I kid but I am pretty sure that is pretty accurate. See, 6th grade is when kids can take care of themselves, more or less. They can get their own snacks, entertain themselves. Even old enough to play outside without constant supervision. They also talk and make plans of what they are going to do so there's no fighting and crying. And the best part, no parent feels the need to hang out at my house for hours to make sure their child is safe.
Here, I welcome their friends and no longer cringe when they ask if so and so can come over. 
It's not just the weather that's different...it's everything.
Before I get too far off track... When I received a texts asking if one of T's friends could come over and play, I got excited. I was happy to have him over to play. I knew T would bounce off the walls when I announced the news.
It makes me think back, I am a horrible mother. What mom doesn't enjoy friends over? Play dates? Well, this mom doesn't. Especially with moms I don't know other than drop off and pick up. The awkwardness of making small talk, making sure not to bring up a heated topic or offend her. The pressure is so great. Sure you could offer her an adult beverage to relax but what if she doesn't drink before 5pm or not at all. Then you look like a lush and it gets awkward again. So I am that mom that dreaded play dates. Luckily I now live where my kid's friends are my friend's kids. So we have them over, sometimes it's play dates...sometimes there is booze involved, most the time just coffee. There is no awkwardness.
Then there is having a friend over that is bossy or doesn't like anything or cries....then what? I remember my daughter's first friend that came over, it wasn't fun for me. Not sure it was fun for her either. She was a bratty child, no please or thank you from this one. Granted she was 4 but she cried because I wouldn't let them have cookies, instead I offered grapes and cheese. She didn't want to play with any of the girl's toys, just wanted to watch cartoons. It was miserable and when her mom finally came to pick her up I was slapped in the face with that awkward silence. Luckily her daughter broke the ice with wailing that she didn't want to go home.... That was the last friend we had over until 6th grade. You think I kid but I am pretty sure that is pretty accurate. See, 6th grade is when kids can take care of themselves, more or less. They can get their own snacks, entertain themselves. Even old enough to play outside without constant supervision. They also talk and make plans of what they are going to do so there's no fighting and crying. And the best part, no parent feels the need to hang out at my house for hours to make sure their child is safe.
Here, I welcome their friends and no longer cringe when they ask if so and so can come over.
It's not just the weather that's different...it's everything.
Comments
I am very picky about which friends come over. Like you, I prefer the kids of my friends, or at least those whose parents I have met and I can relate to/have stuff in common with.
keep up the good work.
Regards