I am not that parent...

This is my intro whenever I stick up for my kids. I am not the parent that thinks my kids do no wrong. I am not the parent that thinks my kid shouldn't be punished when they do something wrong. I am the parent that will stand up for my kid when I think they are being treated unfairly or the punishment doesn't fit the crime.
So today when my son texted me that he had detention, I was confused. I asked why and when. See, he's turning fourteen this month and never been in trouble at school. He said today at lunch and because there was trash in front of his locker. Not his trash, mind you. To top it off he never saw the papers he was given detention for.
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The more I stared at the text the more irritated I became. I texted Mr Fun and he told me to fight it. Knowing he had my back made my decision easier. I decided to get dressed and walk over to the school. As I was walking there I almost fell on the ice, twice. I have no idea how these kids walk in that ally without falling, it's an inch thick of ice. But that is another story.
On my way there, the wind was cold, snowflakes were falling but I was sweating. I didn't know how I was going to approach this. Part of me wanted to sign him out for lunch, part of me thought about asking to talk to the principle. As I opened the doors I decided to go straight to the source, the teacher that gave him detention. I signed in and as I was walking towards her room I almost turned around because I didn't want to be that kind of parent. I didn't turn around, I walked in and introduced myself. I heard her side of the story and I get it, I totally get it. Trash in the hall is out of control and so she picked six kids that had trash in front of their lockers and gave them detention. I argued it was unfair and she argued that she warned them that detentions were coming on Thursday if there was trash in the hallways. I asked if every student heard her and if she could even pick him out in the crowd. She admitted she didn't know him. Why? because he's not a kid to get in trouble. I told her that I could see if it had his name on it, if she had witnessed him throw trash on the ground once before, then I could see this being a fair punishment. She agreed and said she wasn't going to make him serve the detention. Not without a little guilt trip with saying that it was going to cause problems and all the kids are going to think they can get out of detention by having their mommy come down to the school. I retorted with a "not enough kids care enough to contact their mom and not every mom cares enough to come down here." She nodded in agreement as I went on to tell her that if my kids do something wrong they own it but he didn't do this.
She looked up his schedule and when she saw his photo she said "oh yes, I know him, good kid." SEE!!! He is a good kid so I no longer have mixed feelings about sticking up for him. She got him out of class for me and I talked with him about picking up trash even if it's not his. I told him he might save some other kids from detention when it's not their fault. He agreed and then I had him go apologize to the teacher that gave him detention and tell her he would help keep the halls free of trash even it wasn't his trash. No it wasn't his trash to apologize for but he could have picked it up. It's called respect and I am proud that he went in there with his head held high and acknowledged the problem and is willing to help with the problem.
Now let's see how long it takes for the word to get around that I am THAT crazy mom that got her son out of detention. When really I am the mom that wants to have her kid be a part of the solution instead of punishing him for the problem he didn't create.

Comments

benbidder said…
I wish there were more moms like you!!
Mary said…
Good for you :) Not every parent is brave enough and not every kid openly shares with their parent.
jody said…
Good job mama bear!