Them..our kids...extensions of us!

This move is less than ideal, truth be told. I struggled at first, some days I still ask why. Then I look at my four kids and remember what is in my heart. I am a city girl but that isn't what I want for my kids, never have. I dream of them being small town cowboys.... Driving old pick up trucks without a seatbelt. I want them to have bonfires at the pep rallies and play baseball in a field. I know the girl would never want this but I think if she experiences it her tune could change. I want my kids to be surrounded by adults that care enough about them to treat them as their own. All of this is what this move is going to bring us. It's scary but so exciting. I never would have thought of us moving to a small town, Mr. Fun's line of work just didn't permit it. Now that it is a possibility, I am excited. Yes, it's less than ideal being Mr. Fun hasn't found a job but I have hope. I wish I could say I have faith but I put my faith out there one too many times, my raw, emotional faith, and it failed. So for now, I'll stick with hope.
I keep thinking of the positive, it helps. I keep listing all the positive that is going to come out of this move. My kids will be free to walk or ride their bikes all over and I won't worry. We'll have friends to hang out with again. We will finally get to plant the garden I've always dreamed of having. Class sizes will be drastically smaller for my kids and hopefully the kids are more respectful there. I also believe the boys will want less xbox time and more outside exploring time. I will actually get to have coffee with one my best friends in the whole world. Well, we have coffee together now but it's via the computer and just not the same. We'll get to build snowmen and make snow angels. We'll fish more, camp more and have the life I want my kids to have. The girl may even be able to graduate early, a dream of hers.
I feel at peace with our decision because the kids never really loved it here. G says it is scary with big wide eyes, the girl thinks the kids at her school are scary and weird. Dub gets frustrated daily by the rude, disruptive students in his class. T is the only one that made a connection with a friend and he still is excited about this move.
Now if we only had income coming in or a little more cushion in that bank account.....I'd be so excited and more motivated to start packing.
I am excited for these four souls we are responsible for having a better quality of life. That is what this small town in middle of nowhere is going to give them. Here's to hoping these smiles indicate what is ahead of us.....happy healthy children. That's my end goal, raise happy responsible adults.