Still in Limbo

That's right.... We have plans in our heads...The girl isn't happy...Dub and T are excited for it to become a reality...G is neutral, he's the quiet one so who knows what he's really thinking. But the plans are still just in our heads, nothing is set in motion, just yet.
What this experience has taught me so far is we, as a family, are strong. We have come together, we have made this work so far. We actually really like each other, well, the boys like each other most of the time. I feel that together, we will get through this. What is waiting for us is unknown. I know what I want to come of all of this stress, heartache and unfairness. Whether or not it happens is to be seen.
I have also realized, this city has never felt like home, never. It was just a place to live because Mr. Fun had a job here. I was willing to make it work as long as we were secure with food on the table and roof over our heads...now? I want the hell out of here as soon as possible.
I want to live in a small town, I want to let the boys ride their bikes to town, alone...and not stress over their safety. Do I want to live where it's ass cold and snows? Not really but that's just something that comes with the rest of my vision. I dream of bonfires, drinking on the front porch with friends. Friends that have really come through for us and have always been there. It's true what they say, family isn't blood, family is who is willing to bleed for you. The one thing that I have really missed living here is having friends.....The sound of my kids laughing with their kids. I miss the BBQ's and swimming parties. It's weird, I never felt the need to befriend anyone here. Heck, I didn't even want to be friendly with moms at pick up and drop off with fake small talk. I never clicked with anyone here on a level that made this place feel like home. Maybe there was a reason for this. Or maybe I am grasping at straws so all that is happening is okay.
Here's to hoping that my vision comes to life and the simpler life awaits us.
58-365
I want more of what is in these photos and less stuff in my life.....here's to making a vision come to life.....crossing fingers...
Montana5

Comments

Unknown said…
I'm hoping it does too!!!!!!
benbidder said…
Montana? :)
We love the simple life...love it. I do wish there were friends for the kids nearby, but this..fresh air and trees and nature...we all love it so much. Kicking ourselves for selling the motorcycle, lol.
We are so glad we moved. It will get better.
I do hope you guys end up in the perfect place for all of you! :)
snaphappy6 said…
Keeping my fingers crossed for you. BTW, I can totally relate to how you felt about Modesto...it's how I felt about our town in MA. I was there almost 2 years and miserable THE WHOLE TIME. It is nice to be happy again and have my family thriving....
Anonymous said…
keep your head up. sounds like a good vision. best of luck!
here's hoping you get exactly what your family is craving!
Marisa said…
Canada? LOL
Kidding, sounds like you are going to Montana (I know that you have friends there). I hope this new adventure works out, and am sure that you and your family will be happy wherever you end up. <3
Angela King said…
hoping everything works out for you all dear. you know, massachusetts is chilly but you already have friends here. ;)
Debby said…
Isn't Modesto the arm pit of California? Or is that Fresno? Bakersfield???? LOL.

Where are you going? I'm excited when people move to other states.