How do I say this?

I might come off as a bitch. I might come off as "one of those moms" and I am okay with it. I am also hoping I get this out with less words than I have floating around in my head right now. I like to think my kids are responsible and respectful. I strive for this. My number one goal as a parent is to have respectful kids. Bottom line! I realize kids are kids and sometimes they don't think. They say hurtful things and they act out. Kids are going to make mistakes, I understand that. What I witnessed today has me shaking my head though. Really struggling with how many disrespectful kids were in one class. Twenty-seven kids and maybe five, MAYBE, five were being respectful for the 90 minutes I was helping. The teacher had to repeat herself over and over. During the spelling test, they would talk out without raising their hands, a couple kids got up and started to get something out of their bags. Another kid was caught cheating. Seven kids didn't have their homework, didn't even bother to try to do it. I think by the end of the day this teacher goes home and drinks a pint of vodka and smokes a joint (i did just say joint like it's 1980 something). She has to be exhausted from repeating herself, correcting and disciplining kids all day. I wish I could say she would be exhausted from teaching but it seemed little teaching was going on and a lot of repeating the rules and disciplining was happening. This is where I stop and say this was a 2nd grade class. I could see this if it was K and they were learning to be in a classroom setting and sitting still working. Maybe 1st grade because it's hard to get back into the swing of things after only a year of school. By 2nd grade I would think kids have learned to sit in their seats quietly while the teacher is giving a test or instructions. Maybe I am expecting too much from other people's kids? The reason I am writing about this is because I am irritated. My child goes to school to learn. (this is where I become on of those moms) He follows directions, he raises his hands, he stays in his seat and he gets all his work done. I feel like so much time is wasted correcting the bad kids that he is missing out. I feel like he's not going to receive the education he was at his old school where all the kids were respectful and quiet during learning time. I've been in a lot of classrooms and I have to say I am disappointed with what I saw today. I have never seen so many kids in one class act out and disrupt learning time. Why are these kids disrespectful, why aren't they turning in their 2nd grade homework? My thoughts go straight to the parents. Why aren't the parents teaching them to be respectful in class? My kids know that if they get in trouble at school, they would get in trouble at home. Oh yes, my kids best be on their best behavior while at school and save the acting out crap for home. My job is to parent so my kid's teachers can do their job, teach. They shouldn't have to discipline my kids. (this is where I become a bitch) I blame the parents, parents are so afraid to discipline these days. They give and give, they don't say no. Why is this? Why do so many parents think their little Timmy can do no wrong? Guess what? Your little Timmy is an asshole. I can't wrap my head around it. Yes, I realize we can't spank and studies show yelling lowers self esteem and blah blah blah. But sometimes my kids are such jerk faces to each other I yell. Sometimes my kids don't think and do something stupid and I swat them on the butt (never hard and not in like 5 years and not because they haven't done anything stupid in 5 years either). So will my kids need therapy when grown because I yelled at them for throwing a truck at their brother's head for the 6th time or because when they were 3 I swatted them on the butt for doing something they had already been in time out for? NO, because they are loved. You can love and discipline your children at the same time. So please do so. Teach your children how to behave in public, teach them respect by showing them love and guidance. Give them boundaries, teach them responsibility by checking their homework and reminding them when it's due.
parent1
Kids don't just know how to be a good citizen, they need to be taught. You as a parent, that is your job. Teach your kids to sit still, teach them to follow rules by giving them rules at home. Teach them that rules need to be followed or there will be consequences. (coming from someone that loves to bend the rules) You need to be their first teacher. Teach them respect, teach them to have fun while being responsible. Teach them it's okay to make mistakes. Teach them to learn from that mistake and to own their wrongs. Teach them how to apologize...
parent2
Teach them to laugh and love and embrace life.
..
Teach them there is a time and place for silliness and fun. There is a time and place to let your hair down and dance on the table. Teach them school is not that place. Teach them to be respectful.......

Comments

Marisa said…
I echo everything you just said. I was horrified when I first went to Sam's kindy class to volunteer. Like you said, there were a handful of kids who sat and listened. The rest were a bunch of hooligans. One thing that always gets me is the backtalk. My kids know that backtalk is unacceptable!

I think many parents don't discipline their kids because they feel guilty that they work so much (lots of families here where both parents work outside the home). But it should not be an excuse. Kids need to learn and in order to learn they need boundaries.

You mention good citizens...this is my kids' third year at their (new) school, and last year they had a new (brilliant) principal who cleaned up everything that the previous principal had done. She even started handing out "Citizenship" awards to students who were good citizens. I know this because my son, who is a very sweet boy who often goes unnoticed and gets trampled on by others, won it for sticking up for two friends on his school bus who were being picked on.

Sorry to go on, but your post hit a huge nerve with me. I will proudly be that bitch mom with you. ♥
Angela King said…
i love this. you said it perfectly. we should all want our kids to be respectful. unfortunately, i don't think that's the case.
Joy said…
As a parent and a teacher I say amean!
Mel said…
omgosh.. I totally agree.. Our school is much the same..and lets not forget that its very hard to teach your kids respect when you don't practice it yourself.. so many parents these days have their heads stuck up their ass and don't treat anyone with respect themselves.
Maggie said…
This is such an awesome post. Teachers have a hard enough job.
Michelle said…
Amen.
I so, so agree with you. And I work in a school and observe this on a daily basis.
So - Amen!
Hollie said…
I so agree! I often wonder how kids raised in such permissive households are going to react when they have to work for a living and have to answer to a boss. Childhood should be fun, but it should also be a time to learn how to be a part of a larger society and with that comes some boundaries! Eek...I weep for the future!
Anonymous said…
Mandatory: Every student take this post (-pics) home to be signed by their parent(s). Have the parent paste a pic of their child on it. Place on students desk for constant reminding.
Regina said…
I couldn't agree more. I am always on my kids about being respectful to everyone (especially their elders) and I don't really understand why so many kids are so disrespectful these days. I've shared those frustrations when I've helped in their classrooms. I honestly think the parents think the teachers need to take care of it, which is just sad, and worries me about what kind of world my kids will be in when they are older-
Amy said…
AMEN!