Marriage or kids first?

I was listening to the radio and this was the question they posed. Let me tell you there are some strong opinions out there. Of course I found myself talking, maybe yelling at the radio.
My opinion is you can't put either first. It's  a balancing act. My kids are so important to me, I want them to be happy, feel secure and know they are loved. I want my kids to know I would do just about anything for them, I stop at homework and school projects.
Happy Now, T? (week 17/52 my kids and me)

Then there is Mr. Fun....he really is my everything. I know it's cheesy but we are soul mates, it's like peanut butter and jelly.  We clicked the moment we said hello, I had him at hello, I know I did. So this relationship is important to me and I need him to know he's my number one and I'm not going anywhere.
32/365

See you can't put one or the other first all of the time. There are times when the kids must come first because they are hurt or sad or need help with something. So no sex tonight because that little one needs mommy and daddy love. Then there are the times you feel out of touch with your spouse and you need to put them first, need to build the trust and communication. So you call a sitter, order pizza and get out the house to talk sans kids. Stay out past bedtime so you can stay focused on the two of you when you arrive home.
The answer to this question is not one or the other, it's both, when needed. The trick is to know when each needs to be put first. I'm not saying I have it all figured out either.....I am still learning, especially now that there are teenagers in the house....weird. So with each phase of life you have to adjust your sails and learn how to get from point A to point B without crashing.
While I was listening to the opinions of others, I had another thought. What about YOU? What about yourself? Should you put yourself first? The answer is HELL YES you should, wave your white flag and take a me day.. If it's a workout, a bubble bath, retail therapy, lunch with a friend, or even a night off of cooking and cleaning. The laundry can wait, well unless someone is out of clean socks or undies...Put yourself first from time to time.
274/365  My mom was right...


You are no good to anyone if you are stressed and burned out....Take a me day and then you have the energy to put the kids and your marriage first.

Comments

Debby said…
It's hard to not keep your kids first - They are part of you. In a blended family, like mine it can be a battle between the spouse and the kids (even adult kids) as to who is taking first place. Each spouse in a blended family will always side with their own kids - Frankly I give up at times trying to juggle all of that.