A friend posted THIS BLOG POST on Facebook, and I immediately said to myself "what if I want more?". I used to think I wanted the simple life, a life where mediocre equaled happy. Since living the simple life for the past three years, I have found out it's not for me.
I know I am enough, but I want more. I want the better body, I want to be more than just a mom. I want to be a photographer, a fitness trainer, even a writer. I don't want to make my meals from scratch every night or only order pizza. I want to be able to go to Trader Joes or Whole Foods and buy a healthy dinner to go. I want to experience the world, I want to travel. I want more.
While I need my alone time, a time to not talk, not listen, just be with myself, I crave a night out with friends. I want concerts, parties, dinner at new restaurants. I don't always want to be home with my kids. Yes, I love my kids but I am so much more than just their mom. As my kids grow I realize this more and more. When my kids were little they needed me 24//7, now they are independent and able to survive a night on their own, it's freeing. My kids will always come first but as they get older they don't need to be first as often as in the past.
I have been married for 20 years, and guess what, never once questioned if our marriage was good enough. Marriage is not a competition, it's what you and your spouse make it.
What if I want more? What if I want exciting, busy, new experiences, travel? What if my beautiful is in the city where there's traffic and lots of people. What if my heart craves something more than rented movies, homemade meals, and hanging out at home? What if I want motorcycle rides with a new destination each time? What if I want to book a trip to Vegas on a whim? What if I want road trips to places we've never been? What if I want my kids to experience NYC at Christmas time? What if I want room service? I see nothing wrong with wanting more, wanting my kids to experience museums, the ocean, the subway? What if I want more than camping trips and a day spent at the lake, actually I don't want either of those things, ever.
What if I never find peace with who I am and strive to be a better me everyday? I don't feel like this calm, simple life is enough, not for me. And that is okay, it's okay to want more, too. I want to be more than mom, wife, daughter. I want to be the photographer that took that awesome photo, I want to be the author of that article that everyone read.
It's okay to want more, it's okay to be content. Whatever you are, it's okay to be just that. You don't owe an explanation to anyone. Go be you and let everyone that chooses to judge you fuck off.
Be the best you that you can be. Be true to yourself, don't be afraid to like what you like, hate what you hate. Don't lose yourself trying to fit in like I did for awhile. Don't pretend to like something just to make others happy, if you don't like it you don't like it. If others don't understand that or can't accept that, that's on them. I've learned that the hard way.
I'm glad I ran across that blog post, it's reminded me that mediocre, simple isn't who I am. I am complicated, I want a busy full life. I want options, I want a life that gives me an option to grow, to experience things 'simple' doesn't allow.
I know I am enough, but I want more. I want the better body, I want to be more than just a mom. I want to be a photographer, a fitness trainer, even a writer. I don't want to make my meals from scratch every night or only order pizza. I want to be able to go to Trader Joes or Whole Foods and buy a healthy dinner to go. I want to experience the world, I want to travel. I want more.
While I need my alone time, a time to not talk, not listen, just be with myself, I crave a night out with friends. I want concerts, parties, dinner at new restaurants. I don't always want to be home with my kids. Yes, I love my kids but I am so much more than just their mom. As my kids grow I realize this more and more. When my kids were little they needed me 24//7, now they are independent and able to survive a night on their own, it's freeing. My kids will always come first but as they get older they don't need to be first as often as in the past.
I have been married for 20 years, and guess what, never once questioned if our marriage was good enough. Marriage is not a competition, it's what you and your spouse make it.
What if I want more? What if I want exciting, busy, new experiences, travel? What if my beautiful is in the city where there's traffic and lots of people. What if my heart craves something more than rented movies, homemade meals, and hanging out at home? What if I want motorcycle rides with a new destination each time? What if I want to book a trip to Vegas on a whim? What if I want road trips to places we've never been? What if I want my kids to experience NYC at Christmas time? What if I want room service? I see nothing wrong with wanting more, wanting my kids to experience museums, the ocean, the subway? What if I want more than camping trips and a day spent at the lake, actually I don't want either of those things, ever.
What if I never find peace with who I am and strive to be a better me everyday? I don't feel like this calm, simple life is enough, not for me. And that is okay, it's okay to want more, too. I want to be more than mom, wife, daughter. I want to be the photographer that took that awesome photo, I want to be the author of that article that everyone read.
It's okay to want more, it's okay to be content. Whatever you are, it's okay to be just that. You don't owe an explanation to anyone. Go be you and let everyone that chooses to judge you fuck off.
Be the best you that you can be. Be true to yourself, don't be afraid to like what you like, hate what you hate. Don't lose yourself trying to fit in like I did for awhile. Don't pretend to like something just to make others happy, if you don't like it you don't like it. If others don't understand that or can't accept that, that's on them. I've learned that the hard way.
I'm glad I ran across that blog post, it's reminded me that mediocre, simple isn't who I am. I am complicated, I want a busy full life. I want options, I want a life that gives me an option to grow, to experience things 'simple' doesn't allow.
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